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This Café Is Serving Charcoal Fish and Chips that Look Like, Well…

This Café Is Serving Charcoal Fish and Chips that Look Like, Well…


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We’ll let you be the judge. Really, what does this plate remind you of?

Linn MacKenzie

We'll let you decide: what does this plate remind you of?

Poop. According to popular opinion — and we can’t help but agree — the Long Story Short Café in Melbourne, Australia, is serving activated charcoal fish and chips that look like a pile of human feces.

Never had we truly realized how disturbing the size and shape of fried fish (and chicken tenders, for that matter) really are until it was forcefully brought to our attention by the dark gray color of this café’s fried entrées. Customers of the café have described the dish as looking like “something you’d see at the bottom of a toilet.”

Others weren’t as couth with their descriptive imagery. “It looks like a burnt poo on a plate,” exclaimed one commenting customer on Instagram.

We bet you’re wondering what they did to make it look so unappealing, and why anyone would choose to order it despite its appearance. The batter is infused with activated charcoal — a trendy component of burnt residue that is rumored to have “detoxifying” health benefits. In actuality, however, the opposite is true — consuming charcoal doesn’t have any beneficial impact on your health at all, and instead inhibits the body’s ability to absorb nutrients from food. Charcoal in food has even been shown to counteract the effects of birth control due to its ability to override ingested medication. Basically, you shouldn’t eat activated charcoal — it steals your nutrients.

We suppose that in this case, this effect could be somewhat benign. There isn’t a whole lot that’s nutritious about fish and chips, so if the charcoal prevents absorption of greasy fried batter and oils, that might be OK. However, activated charcoal has been known to cause indigestion and constipation alongside the nutrient blockage — meaning that it’s going to be a whole lot more difficult for this meal to look like it did going in while trying to get it to come out.

The café staff doesn’t mind, though. “At first it was hurtful, however it has become one of our most popular dishes … we cannot complain,” owner Ly Nguyen told Mashable.

This isn’t the first time the café has served something this eccentric. In previous iterations of their menu, they served “fairy floss dessert burgers” and “hot chocolate spheres” that morph into hot chocolate when you add warm milk.

Still, this item seems to be the wackiest yet. Even their “glass noodle salad” made with black fungus doesn’t compare. Maybe it’s just because we’re confused Americans, but these plates scare us a little too much to sit down and eat.


Activated charcoal fish and chips is the meal from your darkest food nightmare

A timeless British classic (in exactly the kind of way ‘mince on toast’ is not), it’s a pairing you just don’t mess with. Unless, apparently, you’re Australia.

One café in Melbourne has begun serving up a monstrous mauling of everything we know and love about the textbook Friday night supper – a jet-black chippy tea.

Made black by the presence of activated charcoal in the apple-cider vinegar, the concoction is on the menu at the Long Story Short Café, and, well… It looks a bit like fish and chips usually looks on the way back out.

This being the internet, obviously people are equal parts outraged that they’ve defiled the good name chippy, and entertained at how it looks.

Activated charcoal battered fish, with some horrific pink stuff going on. This is why we can't have nice things

— Ryan van Zyl (@concierge_ryan) July 12, 2017

Yes, this really is activated charcoal fish and chips https://t.co/H2YzYlzDTh – "deep fried poo" ? haha ?

— Hoan Lam (@hoanlam) July 12, 2017

Despite the food’s nightmarish appearance, there’s some method behind the madness.

Activated charcoal supposedly reduces gas and bloating, helps lower cholesterol, and could even help fix your hangovers. That beetroot tabuleh it’s served on is probably a damn sight healthier than a picked onion, too.

More: UK

Heathrow arrivals 'like sardines' in long queues before red list terminal opens

Kate jokes she's buying William a Spider-Man outfit after chat with lockdown hero

Today is officially the hottest day of the year so far

For now, though, we think we’ll stick to the classics. Mushy peas, anyone?


Activated charcoal fish and chips is the meal from your darkest food nightmare

A timeless British classic (in exactly the kind of way ‘mince on toast’ is not), it’s a pairing you just don’t mess with. Unless, apparently, you’re Australia.

One café in Melbourne has begun serving up a monstrous mauling of everything we know and love about the textbook Friday night supper – a jet-black chippy tea.

Made black by the presence of activated charcoal in the apple-cider vinegar, the concoction is on the menu at the Long Story Short Café, and, well… It looks a bit like fish and chips usually looks on the way back out.

This being the internet, obviously people are equal parts outraged that they’ve defiled the good name chippy, and entertained at how it looks.

Activated charcoal battered fish, with some horrific pink stuff going on. This is why we can't have nice things

— Ryan van Zyl (@concierge_ryan) July 12, 2017

Yes, this really is activated charcoal fish and chips https://t.co/H2YzYlzDTh – "deep fried poo" ? haha ?

— Hoan Lam (@hoanlam) July 12, 2017

Despite the food’s nightmarish appearance, there’s some method behind the madness.

Activated charcoal supposedly reduces gas and bloating, helps lower cholesterol, and could even help fix your hangovers. That beetroot tabuleh it’s served on is probably a damn sight healthier than a picked onion, too.

More: UK

Heathrow arrivals 'like sardines' in long queues before red list terminal opens

Kate jokes she's buying William a Spider-Man outfit after chat with lockdown hero

Today is officially the hottest day of the year so far

For now, though, we think we’ll stick to the classics. Mushy peas, anyone?


Activated charcoal fish and chips is the meal from your darkest food nightmare

A timeless British classic (in exactly the kind of way ‘mince on toast’ is not), it’s a pairing you just don’t mess with. Unless, apparently, you’re Australia.

One café in Melbourne has begun serving up a monstrous mauling of everything we know and love about the textbook Friday night supper – a jet-black chippy tea.

Made black by the presence of activated charcoal in the apple-cider vinegar, the concoction is on the menu at the Long Story Short Café, and, well… It looks a bit like fish and chips usually looks on the way back out.

This being the internet, obviously people are equal parts outraged that they’ve defiled the good name chippy, and entertained at how it looks.

Activated charcoal battered fish, with some horrific pink stuff going on. This is why we can't have nice things

— Ryan van Zyl (@concierge_ryan) July 12, 2017

Yes, this really is activated charcoal fish and chips https://t.co/H2YzYlzDTh – "deep fried poo" ? haha ?

— Hoan Lam (@hoanlam) July 12, 2017

Despite the food’s nightmarish appearance, there’s some method behind the madness.

Activated charcoal supposedly reduces gas and bloating, helps lower cholesterol, and could even help fix your hangovers. That beetroot tabuleh it’s served on is probably a damn sight healthier than a picked onion, too.

More: UK

Heathrow arrivals 'like sardines' in long queues before red list terminal opens

Kate jokes she's buying William a Spider-Man outfit after chat with lockdown hero

Today is officially the hottest day of the year so far

For now, though, we think we’ll stick to the classics. Mushy peas, anyone?


Activated charcoal fish and chips is the meal from your darkest food nightmare

A timeless British classic (in exactly the kind of way ‘mince on toast’ is not), it’s a pairing you just don’t mess with. Unless, apparently, you’re Australia.

One café in Melbourne has begun serving up a monstrous mauling of everything we know and love about the textbook Friday night supper – a jet-black chippy tea.

Made black by the presence of activated charcoal in the apple-cider vinegar, the concoction is on the menu at the Long Story Short Café, and, well… It looks a bit like fish and chips usually looks on the way back out.

This being the internet, obviously people are equal parts outraged that they’ve defiled the good name chippy, and entertained at how it looks.

Activated charcoal battered fish, with some horrific pink stuff going on. This is why we can't have nice things

— Ryan van Zyl (@concierge_ryan) July 12, 2017

Yes, this really is activated charcoal fish and chips https://t.co/H2YzYlzDTh – "deep fried poo" ? haha ?

— Hoan Lam (@hoanlam) July 12, 2017

Despite the food’s nightmarish appearance, there’s some method behind the madness.

Activated charcoal supposedly reduces gas and bloating, helps lower cholesterol, and could even help fix your hangovers. That beetroot tabuleh it’s served on is probably a damn sight healthier than a picked onion, too.

More: UK

Heathrow arrivals 'like sardines' in long queues before red list terminal opens

Kate jokes she's buying William a Spider-Man outfit after chat with lockdown hero

Today is officially the hottest day of the year so far

For now, though, we think we’ll stick to the classics. Mushy peas, anyone?


Activated charcoal fish and chips is the meal from your darkest food nightmare

A timeless British classic (in exactly the kind of way ‘mince on toast’ is not), it’s a pairing you just don’t mess with. Unless, apparently, you’re Australia.

One café in Melbourne has begun serving up a monstrous mauling of everything we know and love about the textbook Friday night supper – a jet-black chippy tea.

Made black by the presence of activated charcoal in the apple-cider vinegar, the concoction is on the menu at the Long Story Short Café, and, well… It looks a bit like fish and chips usually looks on the way back out.

This being the internet, obviously people are equal parts outraged that they’ve defiled the good name chippy, and entertained at how it looks.

Activated charcoal battered fish, with some horrific pink stuff going on. This is why we can't have nice things

— Ryan van Zyl (@concierge_ryan) July 12, 2017

Yes, this really is activated charcoal fish and chips https://t.co/H2YzYlzDTh – "deep fried poo" ? haha ?

— Hoan Lam (@hoanlam) July 12, 2017

Despite the food’s nightmarish appearance, there’s some method behind the madness.

Activated charcoal supposedly reduces gas and bloating, helps lower cholesterol, and could even help fix your hangovers. That beetroot tabuleh it’s served on is probably a damn sight healthier than a picked onion, too.

More: UK

Heathrow arrivals 'like sardines' in long queues before red list terminal opens

Kate jokes she's buying William a Spider-Man outfit after chat with lockdown hero

Today is officially the hottest day of the year so far

For now, though, we think we’ll stick to the classics. Mushy peas, anyone?


Activated charcoal fish and chips is the meal from your darkest food nightmare

A timeless British classic (in exactly the kind of way ‘mince on toast’ is not), it’s a pairing you just don’t mess with. Unless, apparently, you’re Australia.

One café in Melbourne has begun serving up a monstrous mauling of everything we know and love about the textbook Friday night supper – a jet-black chippy tea.

Made black by the presence of activated charcoal in the apple-cider vinegar, the concoction is on the menu at the Long Story Short Café, and, well… It looks a bit like fish and chips usually looks on the way back out.

This being the internet, obviously people are equal parts outraged that they’ve defiled the good name chippy, and entertained at how it looks.

Activated charcoal battered fish, with some horrific pink stuff going on. This is why we can't have nice things

— Ryan van Zyl (@concierge_ryan) July 12, 2017

Yes, this really is activated charcoal fish and chips https://t.co/H2YzYlzDTh – "deep fried poo" ? haha ?

— Hoan Lam (@hoanlam) July 12, 2017

Despite the food’s nightmarish appearance, there’s some method behind the madness.

Activated charcoal supposedly reduces gas and bloating, helps lower cholesterol, and could even help fix your hangovers. That beetroot tabuleh it’s served on is probably a damn sight healthier than a picked onion, too.

More: UK

Heathrow arrivals 'like sardines' in long queues before red list terminal opens

Kate jokes she's buying William a Spider-Man outfit after chat with lockdown hero

Today is officially the hottest day of the year so far

For now, though, we think we’ll stick to the classics. Mushy peas, anyone?


Activated charcoal fish and chips is the meal from your darkest food nightmare

A timeless British classic (in exactly the kind of way ‘mince on toast’ is not), it’s a pairing you just don’t mess with. Unless, apparently, you’re Australia.

One café in Melbourne has begun serving up a monstrous mauling of everything we know and love about the textbook Friday night supper – a jet-black chippy tea.

Made black by the presence of activated charcoal in the apple-cider vinegar, the concoction is on the menu at the Long Story Short Café, and, well… It looks a bit like fish and chips usually looks on the way back out.

This being the internet, obviously people are equal parts outraged that they’ve defiled the good name chippy, and entertained at how it looks.

Activated charcoal battered fish, with some horrific pink stuff going on. This is why we can't have nice things

— Ryan van Zyl (@concierge_ryan) July 12, 2017

Yes, this really is activated charcoal fish and chips https://t.co/H2YzYlzDTh – "deep fried poo" ? haha ?

— Hoan Lam (@hoanlam) July 12, 2017

Despite the food’s nightmarish appearance, there’s some method behind the madness.

Activated charcoal supposedly reduces gas and bloating, helps lower cholesterol, and could even help fix your hangovers. That beetroot tabuleh it’s served on is probably a damn sight healthier than a picked onion, too.

More: UK

Heathrow arrivals 'like sardines' in long queues before red list terminal opens

Kate jokes she's buying William a Spider-Man outfit after chat with lockdown hero

Today is officially the hottest day of the year so far

For now, though, we think we’ll stick to the classics. Mushy peas, anyone?


Activated charcoal fish and chips is the meal from your darkest food nightmare

A timeless British classic (in exactly the kind of way ‘mince on toast’ is not), it’s a pairing you just don’t mess with. Unless, apparently, you’re Australia.

One café in Melbourne has begun serving up a monstrous mauling of everything we know and love about the textbook Friday night supper – a jet-black chippy tea.

Made black by the presence of activated charcoal in the apple-cider vinegar, the concoction is on the menu at the Long Story Short Café, and, well… It looks a bit like fish and chips usually looks on the way back out.

This being the internet, obviously people are equal parts outraged that they’ve defiled the good name chippy, and entertained at how it looks.

Activated charcoal battered fish, with some horrific pink stuff going on. This is why we can't have nice things

— Ryan van Zyl (@concierge_ryan) July 12, 2017

Yes, this really is activated charcoal fish and chips https://t.co/H2YzYlzDTh – "deep fried poo" ? haha ?

— Hoan Lam (@hoanlam) July 12, 2017

Despite the food’s nightmarish appearance, there’s some method behind the madness.

Activated charcoal supposedly reduces gas and bloating, helps lower cholesterol, and could even help fix your hangovers. That beetroot tabuleh it’s served on is probably a damn sight healthier than a picked onion, too.

More: UK

Heathrow arrivals 'like sardines' in long queues before red list terminal opens

Kate jokes she's buying William a Spider-Man outfit after chat with lockdown hero

Today is officially the hottest day of the year so far

For now, though, we think we’ll stick to the classics. Mushy peas, anyone?


Activated charcoal fish and chips is the meal from your darkest food nightmare

A timeless British classic (in exactly the kind of way ‘mince on toast’ is not), it’s a pairing you just don’t mess with. Unless, apparently, you’re Australia.

One café in Melbourne has begun serving up a monstrous mauling of everything we know and love about the textbook Friday night supper – a jet-black chippy tea.

Made black by the presence of activated charcoal in the apple-cider vinegar, the concoction is on the menu at the Long Story Short Café, and, well… It looks a bit like fish and chips usually looks on the way back out.

This being the internet, obviously people are equal parts outraged that they’ve defiled the good name chippy, and entertained at how it looks.

Activated charcoal battered fish, with some horrific pink stuff going on. This is why we can't have nice things

— Ryan van Zyl (@concierge_ryan) July 12, 2017

Yes, this really is activated charcoal fish and chips https://t.co/H2YzYlzDTh – "deep fried poo" ? haha ?

— Hoan Lam (@hoanlam) July 12, 2017

Despite the food’s nightmarish appearance, there’s some method behind the madness.

Activated charcoal supposedly reduces gas and bloating, helps lower cholesterol, and could even help fix your hangovers. That beetroot tabuleh it’s served on is probably a damn sight healthier than a picked onion, too.

More: UK

Heathrow arrivals 'like sardines' in long queues before red list terminal opens

Kate jokes she's buying William a Spider-Man outfit after chat with lockdown hero

Today is officially the hottest day of the year so far

For now, though, we think we’ll stick to the classics. Mushy peas, anyone?


Activated charcoal fish and chips is the meal from your darkest food nightmare

A timeless British classic (in exactly the kind of way ‘mince on toast’ is not), it’s a pairing you just don’t mess with. Unless, apparently, you’re Australia.

One café in Melbourne has begun serving up a monstrous mauling of everything we know and love about the textbook Friday night supper – a jet-black chippy tea.

Made black by the presence of activated charcoal in the apple-cider vinegar, the concoction is on the menu at the Long Story Short Café, and, well… It looks a bit like fish and chips usually looks on the way back out.

This being the internet, obviously people are equal parts outraged that they’ve defiled the good name chippy, and entertained at how it looks.

Activated charcoal battered fish, with some horrific pink stuff going on. This is why we can't have nice things

— Ryan van Zyl (@concierge_ryan) July 12, 2017

Yes, this really is activated charcoal fish and chips https://t.co/H2YzYlzDTh – "deep fried poo" ? haha ?

— Hoan Lam (@hoanlam) July 12, 2017

Despite the food’s nightmarish appearance, there’s some method behind the madness.

Activated charcoal supposedly reduces gas and bloating, helps lower cholesterol, and could even help fix your hangovers. That beetroot tabuleh it’s served on is probably a damn sight healthier than a picked onion, too.

More: UK

Heathrow arrivals 'like sardines' in long queues before red list terminal opens

Kate jokes she's buying William a Spider-Man outfit after chat with lockdown hero

Today is officially the hottest day of the year so far

For now, though, we think we’ll stick to the classics. Mushy peas, anyone?



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