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The Worst Bar Pick-Up Lines...Ever

The Worst Bar Pick-Up Lines...Ever


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Another night at the bar: happy hour is in full swing and the crowd is letting off steam with a few drinks and fried appetizers. Singles ready to mingle, ladies chatting over glasses of chardonnay, and the guys are knocking back a few brews. It’s a familiar scene.

All of a sudden, a man with a smarmy smile sidles over to the woman who has been on his radar all night. He has to speak up to be heard over the Top 40 blaring in the background.

“Your dad must be a baker because you have a nice set of buns,” he drawls. Cue eye roll.

Yup, another cheesy pick-up line. Amusing? Perhaps. Effective? We think not.

We’ve all heard them, and maybe have even used them from time to time: One-liners, fraught with mildly inappropriate food similes and innuendos that would make schoolteachers blush, are not just the stuff of bad television. Silly pick-up lines in the bar are often tactless but good for a laugh. They are especially great if one can anticipate the line quickly enough to formulate a killer comeback. To help you prepare for your next run-in with a would-be pick-up artist, we rounded up some of the “cheesiest” food-related pick-up lines to help you stay on your guard and arm yourself with a witty retort should anyone approach you with one of these winners.

Breakfast Innuendo

“You know, I cook best in the morning.”

Oh yeah? I eat guys like you for breakfast. [bare teeth and growl]

Angina Issues

“You must be one spicy dish because you're making my heart burn."

Nothing turns a lady on like indigestion.

You’ll Never Look at Comfort Food the Same…

"You're like noodle soup, I could never pho-get about you."

Pho [cough]

Slightly Cute, Still Creepy

“You look like a bowl of ice cream, I just have to spoon you”

Fork off, before I spatu ya

Refined Exploitations

“Excuse me sir, is your name Earl Grey? Because you’re a hot-tea!”

Tea leaf me alone.

The Confident Casanova

“My buddies bet me that I wouldn't be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful girl in the bar. Wanna buy some drinks with their money?”

Nope, but they can buy me some drinks with yours.

Clever, so Clever

“I hear you’re thirsty? Well I've got a six pack right here!”

Yep, that’s one six-pack of dinner rolls.

The Flatterer
“I’m not drunk, I’m just intoxicated by you.”

Looks like you’re over the limit. Next!

Fast Food Approach
“Baby, you got more legs than a bucket of KFC!”

Sounds like someone’s had too many herbs and spices tonight.

Super-Cereal Line
“Is your daddy Tony the Tiger? Because you look grrrrrreat!”

No, but I’m about to turn into a cereal killer if you don’t take a hike.


46 Dumb Pick Up Lines – Say these to get her attention.

Dumb pick up lines come from a toolbox of age-old tactics guys use to approach women.

Whether it&rsquos at a bar, club or social gathering, guys use different means to get a woman&rsquos attention.

These one-liner pick up lines are generally funny, cheesy or can even corny.

Contents


12 Best Clever Pick up Lines

via: Bigstockphotos / deagreez

Whether you&rsquore looking to ask a special woman out on a date, or you&rsquore just looking for a cute way to get her attention, we have curated a list of the best clever pickup lines for every situation.

Here are the 12 best clever pickup lines:

1. I would flirt with you, but I&rsquod rather seduce you with my awkwardness.

Dating is awkward these days and talking openly about what makes us feel and act awkward is a key way to connect around a common emotion.

2. I know what you&rsquore thinking&hellip&rdquoSure, he looks nice enough, but can he ride a unicycle?&rdquo and the answer is no.

You&rsquore talking about the list that everyone has in their minds of all the things their future partners ought to be.

3. Wanna eat cookie dough together some time?

Our common guilty indulgences can make for great witty pickup lines.

4. On a scale of 1 to America, how free are you tomorrow night?

You&rsquore inserting a little bit of gratitude for the free country we live in.

5. Is your name Ariel? Because we mermaid for each other.

A man who knows his Disney movies by character is a catch.

6. Your eyes are like IKEA&hellipI get lost in them.

And maybe you can try your hands at building IKEA furniture together without instructions to really test your affections.

7. Even though there aren&rsquot any stars out tonight, you&rsquore still shining like one.

Let your romantic side show. Get the stars involved.

8. Are you a 45-degree angle? Because you&rsquore acute-y!

Unabashedly cheesy is sometimes just what the doctor ordered.

9. Do you know if there are any police around? Cause I&rsquom about to steal your heart.

We think we&rsquore in control of our emotions and then we lose them to love in the form of thieves.

10. If I was an octopus, all my 3 hearts would beat for you.

If she saw Finding Dory, she&rsquoll get this one right away.

11. I should call you Google, because you have everything I&rsquom looking for.

You&rsquore saying you&rsquore blown away by her in all directions.

12. Are you made out of grapes? Because you are fine as wine!

Fine and wine are a nice, crisp rhyme to make a witty pickup line.


75 Pick-Up Lines So Funny and Terrible, You're Sure to Get a Smile

Introducing yourself is stressful, but these cheesy openers can help you break the ice.

fizkes/Shutterstock

When you're looking for a relationship—or just see someone who you really want to get to know—there's a ton of pressure to make that first line great. Pick-up lines get a bad rap for being cheesy and cringe-worthy, but if you start your conversation with the right dose of interest and humor, you may end up scoring a date or a number. Introducing yourself to someone new is always scary, whether you're on an app or in-person, since the possibility of rejection is part of the deal. The perfect, knowingly bad opening joke can be a useful way of breaking the tension and the ice. So try one of these pick-up lines on the next object of your affection—just remember to keep it moving if they're not interested.


30 Terrible Tinder Pick Up Lines That Will Make You Feel Embarrassed For The People Who Used Them (New Pics)

Jonas Grinevičius and
Marija Baranauskaitė

We might be living in the middle of a global pandemic and some people might miss human contact a bit too much, but it&rsquos no excuse to spout tasteless pickup lines. To give you a break from all the serious things in life, Bored Panda has collected a whole bunch of pickup attempts that are so awful, they deserved to be put down with snappy comebacks.

Scroll down and upvote your favorite shutdowns of failed pick up attempts on Tinder. If you&rsquore up for it, let us know in the comments what the worst pick up line you&rsquove ever heard (or said!) was. Also, check out our earlier list about the most cringeworthy pick up lines people have had to deal with right here and be sure to visit the 2-million-follower-strong Tinder Nightmares IG account that's full of other horrible pick up attempts.

To learn more about why so many people seem to rely on sometimes lousy pick up lines on dating sites, Bored Panda reached out to Dan Bacon, founder of The Modern Man. According to him, men try to stand out from the crowd on dating apps in order to get responses, that&rsquos why a lot of people rely on lousy pick up lines. Scroll down for our talk with Dan.


200+ NSFW Dirty Pick Up Lines That Actually Cross The Line

Pexels

What’s cringey, funny, and tries to be an aphrodisiac without being an aphrodisiac? A dirty pick-up line, anyone? Welcome to art school, because we’re about to teach you how to become the ultimate pick-up artist. OK, kidding. These inappropriate and hilarious pick-up lines are so bad, they’re good. TBH, some are downright cheesy. But that’s just why we love ’em! In addition to being a list of the dirtiest pick-up lines ever, this is also a comprehensive list of things to never say at work, unless you’re looking to meet with HR immediately.

Don’t feel ashamed for being here, though. You’re not alone in your search for these wild phrases. According to the latest search data available to us, dirty pick-up lines are searched for 201,000 a month. A month!

Still, a warning: This list is most definitely full of NSFW jokes. And they’re not exactly stranger-friendly. No, seriously, do not try and use these to bag an actual date. To be quite honest, if a random person came up to us and blurted any of these bad boys unexpectedly, it would be us delivering the punchline… directly to their face. Luckily, with millions of people stuck at home amid the coronavirus outbreak, quarantine dating means you can try out these eye-roll-inducing lines without getting punched through FaceTime or sitting through an awkward Skype encounter. Although it’s funny as hell to fire off some dirty pick-up lines, especially to your significant other. We also included some smooth pick-up lines in case you want to nail that whole naughty and suave vibe. Heck, we even threw in some straight-up hilarious come-ons in case the other options don’t land.

Check out some of our favorites below. Why not have a pick-up contest with your partner to see who laughs first? Try and send them as a flirty text, but only if you know the person well.


A Dozen Great (Or Terrible) Boozy Pick Up Lines

Since we can’t all be Ryan Gosling memes, some of us have to do our best to say cool-sounding stuff in person. The basic goal: stop someone in their social tracks and, within 15 seconds, be as charming/witty/adorably sleazy as possible to lay the groundwork for a possible hook-up, and quite possibly a free bagel or egg sandwich the next day. Not that these methods tend to work nowadays—really, the pick up line is about 100 characters too long for our attention spans. But since you can’t send a Bitmoji to someone until you get their number, and since retro seems to be making some kind of lazy cultural comeback, we figured why not resuscitate the old pick up line, booze style?

To be perfectly clear, we don’t support/approve/or claim authorship of any of these. As with anything hilarious and terrifying, it’s all culled from The Internet. And as professionals, we don’t recommend you use these anywhere, with any serious romantic expectation.

Also, while pick up lines are historically gender stereotyped, they happen to all of us, the best and worst of us, so while some of these are clearly meant for the ladies, don’t assume you’re safe from the slick, smooth sounds of these boozy pick up lines.

36 Gifts and Gadgets For Anyone Who Loves Drinks

Drink In The Love…

“Pretty sure my vodka rocks is jealous.” (But why. ) “Because you’re the most intoxicating thing in this place.”

“Think I’m gonna go ahead and put these handles back on the shelf, cuz girl/boy, you’ve already got a hold on me.”

“I don’t need another glass of wine.” (But why. ) “’Cuz girl/guy, I could just get drunk on your love.”

“I wish I was a glass of whiskey, girl/guy.” (But why. ) “So you could hold me in your hands and nurse me.”

“Did you slip some Fireball into my drink, or are you just getting hotter?”

“That bottle of whiskey is 40% ABV. Do you really need any more proof to come home with me tonight?”

“Woops. Looks like you owe me a drink, girl/guy.” (But why. ) “Because I dropped mine when you walked by just now.”

“I would buy you a drink, baby, but then I’d be so jealous of the glass.”

“Heard you ordered Sex on the Beach. I got some suntan lotion…”

“Yeah, I get that the whiskey is from Tennessee, but you’re the only 10 I see.”

“This ain’t no beer belly. It’s the gas tank for my love machine.”

“You remind me of a tumbler of whiskey. You’re mature, smooth, and I’ll definitely be pounding you tonight.”


17 KILLER PICK UP LINES TO SAY TO A WOMAN

On my Facebook feed the other day, someone complained about how a guy started wooing her by asking, "are you related to Whoopi Goldberg? Cause you look like her" No! No!! Nooo. How dare you say that to a girl?

Or this one: "I love you more than my I.D card." Like seriously?

Or this one: "Precious, how precious are you today? I'm writing from the precious hills of Ntarinkon to tell you how precious you are."

Yes, a guy wrote that to me some years back and I found it more comical than romantic.

Obviously, some men are oblivious to what to say to a woman and/or they just don't have the courage to say the right things. Women are so moved by words.

So learning to say the right things to them is what brings your game on.

I've put together some killer lines which will make your desired woman thrilled. Here we go:

1. Can I say a poem for you? To Adam He gave EveTo Abraham He gave SarahAnd to me, He gave you.

2. Do you mind if I talk to you? My mother always told me to follow my dreams.

3. You just dropped something. my jaw.

4. I've been staring at your profile picture for ages. I still can't stop.

5. Are you a piece of art? Because I'd like to nail you up on my wall. Wow!

6. After looking at you for 0.7 seconds, I got a headache. You can get a headache from looking at something that bright.

7. You are the kind of girl my mom told me to bring to her. Will you like to go see her with me?

8. My name is Will. God's will for you.

9. Your face is perfect. like a well put together piece of art. God did a great job on you.

10. I look at you and I can only imagine how blissful my life will be, waking up next to you every morning.

11. Your eyes are beautiful. Are you wearing contacts? (Only say this as long as she is not wearing contacts.)

12. Can I share a story with you? (Go ahead to tell her a story of a man who gave his all to make a woman fall in love with him, Tell her you are that man and she is that woman.)

13. Was that you just smiling at me or the sun just coming out?

14. Your eyes have told me a lot of things. The only thing they haven't told me is your name.

15. I saw a garden this morning and I thought it was the most beautiful ever until I met you.

16. I must be in heaven because I am looking at an angel!

17. There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.

The key to saying these lines is to be bold, confident and at the same time, playful. No woman wants a man who is insecure and too serious.

Matters of the heart should be lighthearted and fun. Go forth and draw her in with the sweetest lingo!

What is the most interesting pickup line you have heard/said?


Cringy Pick Up Lines that Make Women Want to Throw a Drink at Your Face

Now that you’ve seen some of the best pick up lines you can use to start great conversations, let’s change gears and briefly address some of the worst cringy pick up lines that almost guarantee a negative response.

That being said, they are funny and I wanted to share a few bad and cringy pick up lines you should never use, so you get the idea and feel. 1. “I think I must be dying because I’m looking at heaven.”
2. “ Hi, I just wanted to give you the satisfaction of turning me down. So, just go ahead and say no.” span style=”font-weight: 400”>3. “Want to come see my hard drive? I promise it isn’t 3.5 inches and it ain’t floppy.”

4. “ I’m an organ donor, and I have an organ you might need.”

5. “This is your lucky day because I just happen to be single.”

6. “ Did heaven lose a couple of angels? ’Cause I can see them bouncing around in your shirt!”

7. “Your lips look lonely. Would they like to meet mine?”


25 Clever Bar Pick Up Lines

The following pick-up lines have no need for comments. They’re a disaster on their own, and if you dare use one of them, you’ve just gotten yourself inducted into the league of losers.

    1. “You’re like asthma, you take my breath away.”
    2. “Hey, I bet nobody’s ever picked you up like this before (Tosses condom onto table.)”
    3. “Save water. Shower with me.”
    4. “Hi. I only have three months to live…”
    5. “I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away.”
    6. “Was that an earthquake or did you just rock my world?”
    7. “What do you say we go back to my crib and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply”
    8. “I have a six inch tongue and I can breath through my ears”

    Albeit, some of these are undoubtedly clever, it seems that most are completely out of realm. I mean, hey, if they work for you, then that’s great! They were probably extremely drunk, lacked a few cell membranes between the ears, or just hasn’t had sex in a really long time. But who are we to judge? The whole premise behind the pick up line is that it, in effect, does exactly what it’s meant to. They are designed to pick someone up and enjoy an evening, if not an entire lifetime, of fun, exciting and enjoyable unadulterated sex.

    The only problem with a pick up line is that it’s still a ploy to get someone into bed, or at least the possibility of it. Even without the obvious sexual innuendos, pick up lines are exactly that, a come on to get someone to sleep with you, or least do other dirty stuff. If you use these lines nowadays, your chances for success are low to none. But then again, it’s worth being the laughingstock for the night. At least you got the girl to smile, even if it’s at your expense. Remember, the Naked Man worked for Ted on How I Met Your Mother, so maybe one of these lines will work for you!